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Falls
Count Anywhere
03-08-05
Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name
is Chris and the story you’re about to hear is true.
SmackDown!
Cinequest has been slowly sucking my life force. Every so
slowly sucking my will. So, on Sunday, at 3:45 am, I finally
got to watch SmackDown. After watching it, sleeping for
a couple of hours and then heading back into Cinequest,
returning the tape to my recording buddy, I remember almost
nothing.
The highlight, and what will probably be
the highlight leading up to Mania, had to be Angle getting
jumped by Michaels who was dressed up as a cameraman. It’s
an old trick, I think they did it in Memphis during the
Paleozoic Age, but it really worked. These guys are building
good heat and smart money says that they’ll put on
the best performance at Mania.
The only other thing that I can hazily recall
is Orlando Jordan winning the US title. I think that JBL
threatened to fire him if he didn’t win the belt,
and he managed to, which allows Cena to take the World Title
from JBL at WrestleMania.
All in all, I can’t say that much
caught my attention, but I will say that it seems that at
least the top level storylines are getting the attention
they deserve and that folks are going to want to buy the
pay per view. Michaels vs. Angle will probably set the world
on fire and Cena is getting his first step out, which may
set him up to be another Sting: a great chaser, but not
a draw with the belt.
NEWS
Not much. Scott Hall is in deadly serious trouble. His binge
drinking has left him with very serious kidney damage. He
was told under no uncertain terms that he has to stop drinking
or he’ll not last long. He hasn’t slowed and
at least once had to be carried back home. It’s gone
beyond funny into sad, then back around to funny again.
RAW
RAW was a solid show marked by a very good series of building
segments to the Mania main events.
Shawn Michaels came out to talk about all
he had done in his WWF/E career and to tell us that Kurt
Angle had done none of it. Kurt came on screen and this
was a great promo face-off. Kurt 2003 vs. Shawn 1996 would
have been the greatest match ever. As it stands, these are
two broken guys who can still go if they have to and I imagine
they will. Kurt proved that he is the strongest promo in
the world right now.
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| "You're
not FIT to carry Mjolnir!" |
Triple
H went back in his late 2000 form by taking on Rosey. Rosey
got some offense in, then he missed a moonsault and HHH
just destroyed him with a Pedigree. He then used the sledge
on him. This wasn’t a terribly effective segment,
but I do like HHH getting TV matches. Backstage, Flair complained
that H made him a match with Batista. Well, I’d be
mad too if I were Flair, though I’d be madder at Vince
than HHH.
Bischoff made the ladder match at Mania
a Money in the Bank match, meaning that the winner could
pick his spot and get a title match at any point in the
following twelve months. Jericho, Benoit, Edge, Shelton
Benjamin and Christian are involved, leaving space for one
more contestant.
Kane beat Christian in a nothing match,
but then Tomko attacked Kane with a ladder. Please don’t
make this a Mania match. Randy Orton then talked about making
his challenge, which will be the Undertaker match. This
will be useless unless Orton wins.
Edge beat Chris Jericho in a really good
match. Lots of smart work here, especially with Jericho
working on Edge’s arm. There were all sorts of You
Screwed Matt/Lita chants, which is a reference to the fact
that Lita and Matt Hardy broke up and someone was at fault.
They brought a ladder in the ring, giving folks a taste
of what’s to come and Jericho did his famous drop
toe hold into the ladder and Edge used it to give Chris
a Low Blow and a Jumping DDT for the pin. Really good stuff.
Bisch had Batista choose HHH’s next
opponent, and Big Dave chose Benoit. HHH will get to choose
the week after for Batista. They did the official calling
out ceremony of Orton vs. UT. This kinda sucked, but Orton
did give Bisch the RKO.
Chris Benoit beat Shelton Benjamin in a
match with the ladder around again. Benoit did a headfirst
dive and ended up going into the ladder. This was very rushed
but very good. Shelton is such a solid guy and if he gets
the win in the Ladder Match, they may well get mileage out
of him yet. Benoit got the crossface, but Benjamin made
the ropes once and finally got the tap out after a second
try.
Hassan told Bischoff to put him in the ladder
match. He said no. Hassan was not happy.
In the latest sadness in my life, Christy
Hemme came out and talked about her Playboy appearance.
Trish came out and challenged Christy for a match at Mania.
Christy has been training with Lita and she gave Trish a
Twist of Fate. Wow, that’s rich. I really, sincerely,
and totally hope they don’t go more than a minute
or two.
Main Event was Batista beating Flair in
an OK match. They talked about Flair being a legend in these
parts. Flair worked mean heel and Batista did his best as
defensive face. Batista hit the bomb for the win. HHH then
attacked Batista, hitting him in the knee. He followed that
up by getting the sledge, but Big Dave blocked the shot
and then broke it over his knee. Wowwy-Wow-Wow! This was
a nice build to their match and I can’t wait to see
it.
All in all, Mania is shaping up quite nicely.
That’s
all for this week. I’ll be back on Tuesday with the
first report after Cinequest, so things will be back to
where they belong.
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