Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name
is Chris and I’m controversial.
Passion of the Garcia
RAW had stiff competition for my attention, as the Westminster
Dog Show was on USA. I watched this while flipping back
and forth (I was so pulling for the Great Dane in the Working
Group, but no dice, damn Great Pyrannes).
Michelle was out to open on the Highlight Reel with Jericho.
They showed her commercial. Meh. She’s purdy, though.
Muhammad Hassan and more importantly Daivari came out and
said that Candace was a disgrace and that she allowed herself
to be exploited for the people’s entertainment. Well,
duh! This led to a match where Hassan actually beat Jericho.
The match was pretty quick and Jericho did better with Hassan
than anyone else. Daivari distracted the ref and Hassan
hit the Downward Spiral.
HHH, H’s new beard and Ric Flair were
talking about JBL coming to RAW to confront Batista. Hmmmmmmm…
They announced that Rowdy Roddy Piper will
be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame. That’s the
big name for this year, unless they get Hogan, which is
Orton and Kiebler did a little thing where
she asked him out. Ah, how sweet. They had Batista say that
he would take care of JBL on his own. I see where this is
got DQed in his match against Shelton Benjamin. It wasn’t
a good match, save for Benjamin’s selling, and it
really didn’t do much. Shelton is far better than
he’s being given.
and Regal faced La Resistance, which made me immediately
think that they were going to pull the plug on T+R’s
reign and give it back to the Frogs. They didn’t.
They had a perfectly serviceable match which had Tajiri
play face in peril until making a tag to Regal. The match
ended when Regal hit a high knee to get the pin. This was
a nice ending for a solid, and short, match.
THAT'S a tag team...
and Christian really got the crowd going for their match.
As hard a sell as Orton has been, he’s been over with
some demographics, mostly women and gay men, and not other,
mostly straight men. He got a really good pop and drew good
heat. Christian got potatoed something fierce because he
ended up with a lump on the side of his head. Tomko interfered
and they did the double finisher escapes finish that’s
been so popular of late for the Orton win. Very good match,
probably the best that Orton has had in a while.
They reshowed the Basic Instinct trailer
for WrestleMania. All the Chrises (Jericho, Benoit, -tian)
are good in it, especially Christian. I love the fact that
they are making inside references about Trish on TV now.
Edge complained about Batista getting all
the attention, even after he cost Edge the title last week.
Fair point. He pointed out to Bischoff that if Batista chooses
to go to SD! that he’d be well and truly ready to
beat HHH for the title at Mania.
Stratus came out and said that the crowd could no longer
chant "Slut" at her because Christy Hemme is gettin’
nuded up in Playboy. Christy came out and was terrible in
her reactions, but she did say that posing naked doesn’t
make you a slut, but sleeping with half the locker room
does, though likely not the half you’d expect. Trish
slapped her hard, which ruled!
Kane beat Simon Dean. Coco won the Terrier
Group over on USA. Given the choice between watching Coco
got a huge pop. Kane got a good reaction. Coco vanquished
the Miniature Bull Terrier and the Scotty, who both got
amazing reactions and were seen as serious threats, for
the group win. Kane pinned a guy with a lame gimmick. Advantage:
from the Playboy shoot...
Batista told HHH himself that he’d
handle things with JBL because Bradshaw was calling him
out. HHH said he had his back. Batista then basically squashed
Edge, though my guess is that they were running long and
had to make up time. I’d bet they had a much longer
match planned and couldn’t deliver. The Titantron
showed JBL’s limo arriving and Big Dave went out to
greet it. When he got out there, the headlights were in
the distance and the Longhorns came roaring towards him.
HHH managed to push him out of the way onto a pile of boxes.
It’s obvious where this ends up next week when Batista
has to choose who he’ll fight for the title at WrestleMania.
Not a bad show, though not top on my list
Amy Weber may in fact be gone. The sides have talked, and
the WWE was hoping to get things worked out, but it doesn’t
look like it’s gonna happen. Shame, she had good potential.
If there is one thing I can say for TNA, it’s that
they have some really good workers. There was some weak
work here and some stuff that I wasn’t a fan of, but
over-all, a good show.
We got Elix Skipper taking on Petey Williams
in a match that I thought was OK but certainly could have
gone a bit longer. I like Elix a lot and think he should
be getting a good-sized push. Others, like the actual bookers,
disagree. The guys seemed to stumble a bit on a series of
near-falls, but they pulled out a decent finish debuting
Skipper’s new finisher: The Sudden Death DDT.
Hammond and Brian “Don’t call me Road Dogg"
James beat Michael Shane and Frankie The Future Kazarian.
I honestly didn’t give a damn about this match and
mostly just read my Observer while it was going on. Hammond
does NASCAR announcing for FOX Sports and this was bad.
They had Shane superkick Frankie by accident and that allowed
Hammond to get the pin with an elbow drop.
Zybysko and Dusty Rhodes did a bit where Larry asked for
the Jarrett No Guitar Use stipulation to be lifted and Dusty
said no. There wasn’t much to this, but even since
I learned how to spell Zybysko, I’ve thought I should
write it as often as possible.
Raven vs. Dustin Rhodes wasn’t a great
match, but there was some OK brawling involved. I think
Dustin is pretty underrated when it comes to being a brawler
and it’s obvious that he learned a lot from his dad.
Raven, which nowhere near his ECW level, did his best and
I liked this match. The whole thing ended with Raven getting
the DDT and holding the ropes.
America’s Most Wanted took on Kid
Kash and Lance Hoyt in a match that I would put in my Very
Good column. These guys all know how to work and they had
a strong match. At one point, Lance hit a side slam on Storm
of AWM for a near fall. That was a sweet move. The champs
hit Lance with the Death Sentence to get the pin. Solid
work, even if they could have used more time.
Abyss took out Jeff Hardy in a TLC Full
Metal Match. Basically, you had to get up the ladder and
get the envelope that had the contract in it. This was solid,
with Jeff doing all sorts of crazy spots. He went onto the
Entry Standee and then did the Swanton onto Abyss who was
on the table. That was an amazing spot, and one I don’t
want to see very often. There was lots of brawling and at
one point, Abyss tossed Hardy into a stack of four table.
Jeff got one of the envelopes, but Lordy-be, it was the
empty one. Abyss finally got the one with the contract for
a match against the TNA champ for the win. Fun match that
reminded me of the old days when Jeff was OK and he and
Matt and Christian and Edge and The Dudleys had their classics.
Diamond Dallas Page & Monty Brown vs.
Bobby Roode & Eric Young followed and they did a good
job. DDP hasn’t looked this good in ages. Not bad
for a guy who has pushed 50. Brown is a better wrestler
than I give him credit for and Roode and Young are both
solid. A lot of Pouncing and near-pouncing and the Brown
and DDP team got the win with the Diamond Cutter off the
Phil Collins guests in the TLC match.
The match of the night goes to AJ Styles
and The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels for their 30 minute
Iron Man Match. They opened with solid mat wrestling, and
Daniels is really good on the mat, and I’d say he
was on the level of a guy like Dean Malenko. They really
opened things up around 10 minutes and Daniels got the first
fall with the Angel’s Wings. About ten minutes later,
AJ got a roll-up for a pin. They worked a much smarter match
than you’d think, especially when you think of the
limitations that the 30 minute format places on you. Styles
got to bleed and Daniels had him in a version of the STF
move that caused a blood spurtage, much like Stone Cold
in 1997. He never tapped and they restarted things after
Daniels begged Dusty to let them have a Sudden Death Overtime.
Styles and Daniels worked a little more and AJ hit the Styles
Clash for the win. Great, great match.
Jarrett beat Kevin Nash in a match that featured all sorts
of debuts and interference. As usual, the smaller guy, Jarrett,
attacked the knees of the bigger guy, Nash. Nash did some
things, which was a little bit amazing. He dropped Jarrett
face first on the announce table. They fought out of the
building, but came back in. Then, in a strange series of
events, a new weapon to the history of wrestling was introduced.
Since Jarrett couldn’t use a guitar or he’d
lose his title, he brought in a cello. That’s right,
a cello, case and all.
actually made very good use of the cello, including Jarrett
slamming Nash’s knee in the case. At one point, after
a ref bump, Nash powerbombed Jarrett on the cello. That
was an awesome spot. The former Billy Gunn (called No Introduction
Necessary) came to TNA and hit Nash with a chair. This led
to Sean (The 1-2-3-X-Syxx-Pak) Waltman returning and hitting
the BroncoBuster and the X Factor on Jarrett. A couple of
more Strokes and the World Title remained with Jeff Jarrett.
This was a really good match for Nash and Jarrett, mostly
due to some very smart booking.
than the Rumble? I’d say yes.
all for today. More on Friday!!!
about today's column in the forums!