Falls Count Anywhere

02-10-04

Every guy's sleazy friend.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris, and I've been very busy.

RAW
Raw opened with a great segment to move along the Brock vs. Goldberg feud. Vince McMahon and Paul Heyman showed up with Steve Austin and said that Goldberg better not do anything more than sit in his seat at No Way Out (where I will be LIVE!). Goldberg said that Brock is next, and as Heyman babbled on, Goldberg set and then gave him a spear. The crowd loved it, but there was still more.

Goldberg went to spear McMahon, but Vince moved and Austin got the stunner instead. They did a backstage thing where Goldberg said he was sorry to Austin and asked if he should expect a stunner, and Austin said that if he gets a stunner, it won't be a mistake. Bischoff also announced that Goldberg was suspended. How does a guy like Goldberg get suspended so often? Who is he, Bill Lambier?

Jericho and Trish teamed to take on Molly Holly and Matt Hardy. This was short, but very well done. Matt Hardy is being seriously devalued, which is a shame for someone so talented. At one point, Jericho went for a plancha, but missed and landed on his feet, giving him a chance to sell his knee. He did that very well. Trish hit the Stratusfaction, but Matt Hardy broke it up. Christian then came out and wailed Matt into the barrier. The women went at it in the ring and eventually Trish got the Victory Roll (a move I've always loved) for the win. Trish then helped Jericho out of the ring.

When we came back, Trish was just leaving Jericho's locker room where he was getting looked at by doctors. I half-expected her to say "This is the part of the job I hate" as she whipped off latex gloves. Christian came up and asked how Jericho was and apologized for his previous dickitry. Trish accepted his apology and hoped they could all be friends. As Christian entered the locker room, he turned into every guy's sleazy friend and told Trish she looked all hot. Nice touch to this ever improving, and slow-building, angle.

All we can show of it.

Jindraik and Cade are looking at the Sable / Torrie Playboy when Busty St. Clair (Jacky Gayda) and Leggy LaRue (Stacey) enter and say that even though Playboy picked two SmackDown! girls that they are going to make their mark. I was a little too busy laughing at Jacky's 1984 inspired bright pink off-the-shoulder-but-still-sleeved number.

Foley did a little number with Coach backstage, saying he was going to embarrass Orton. He got a huge pop appearing on the TitanTron.

Chris Benoit and Rick Flair had a really good match that the crowd was really into. They didn't just seem to be into Flair, who used to make appearances in Portland as NWA champ, but also into Benoit and in particular his signature moves. They started chopping the hell out of each other early. It reminded me of Flair's matches with Ronnie Garvin where they would both come out of the ring with chests that looked like car crash victims. Benoit drew blood from Flair's chest, which the commentators, which did not include Coach this week, mentioned throughout the match. They were very physical, with Benoit giving a released German Suplex early on. Flair took it like a champ, too. The match kept going back and forth through the break.

Flair had the advantage when we came back and gave Benoit a figure four. Chris got a rope break, then did his rolling German Suplexes, which got a great response. Flair hit Benoit with a low-blow, then tried for the figure four again, but Benoit turned it into a crossface for the win. Great match that certainly helped Benoit get over. HHH was watching backstage and told the PA to tell Bischoff to get the ring ready for the contract signing, thus proving how much pull HHH has.

Most contract signings suck, but this one was pretty good. Benoit was out there and HHH came and signed the contract, then gave a hell of a promo. Seriously, it was the best talking he's done since those great ones with Michaels the first go-round. Benoit was about to sign when Shawn Michaels' music hit and he came out asking for the shot at Mania. Benoit say that he couldn't have it and when Chris went to sign the papers, HBK hit him with the Sweet Chin Music. Shawn then signed the contract, which I'm sure we'll hear more about in the coming weeks.

Blue Man Dork.

Kane destroyed Hurricane for a while, and then he tried to get his pyro to work, but the first two times it would. The third time it worked, but then immediately the Undertaker video came on and said "In 34 days, the Dead will rise again." I'm not sure who's going to be on guitar, but as long as Mickey Hart is there, I'm happy. Kane was then bathed in the creepy blue light and freaked.

Mick Foley came out to give one of his classic interviews. He was great talking about hypocrisy, bringing up Rush Limbaugh, and then mentioned Orton going AWOL for 84 days. That got Orton on the TitanTron challenging Foley to run out to catering and take him on.

This was an obvious trap, and for a guy who just gave a great thinking man's promo, it made no sense that he would fall for it. Foley got there and faced off with Orton, but Flair and Bautista came and started wailing on him. Bautista powerbombed Foley through a table, and then Orton started slapping him and gave him a brutal soccer kick to the head. It was brutal.

Orton took on RVD and Booker T in a match that didn't have much heat to start. The match was pretty good, with Orton letting Booker and RVD go at it early before bringing himself into things. It went well and got a little heat as they went on. RVD was better than he has been of late. The match ended when RVD hit the frog splash, but Orton tossed him out and got the pin himself.

Evolution came out to celebrate, and Foley limped out and Orton gave him the RKO on the floor while the others took out Booker and RVD in the ring. Ross said that Evolution was too much and that Foley needed more help. This not so subtly signaled the Rock's return, probably for next week.

It was a really good show that pushed all the important storylines forward. I wanna see how they do the Michaels vs. Benoit thing for next week, and what Foley does. It was a solid show, with my only complaint being the lack of wrestling early on.

NEWS
According to the Torch, there's some second guessing going on around the WWE about the star power for WrestleMania being lacking. While I see what they mean, I definitely think that they are selling the Lesnar vs. Goldberg match short. I think that should be pushed as the big match to draw the buy-rate. It'll do fine no matter what, but they could make that into a huge moneymaker.

SmackDown! did a 3.4 this week, down from the 3.6 that the show ended up doing the week before, even though it had a huge 4.6 rating in the metered markets. The 3.4 isn't bad, as it had serious competition. SmackDown! still had more than a million more viewers that RAW did.

Brock is frustrated with the travel schedule of the WWE. He has said he only has 30 minutes a day to train, which for a guy with his physique is a bad thing.

FlashBack!
California has had a long history of wrestling. Dating back to the late Nineteenth Century, San Francisco, Los Angeles and Sacramento have always had some form of wrestling going. The LA scene centered around the Olympic Auditorium for years, with guys like Blassie, Tolos, Piper, Chavo Guerrero, and tons more. In Northern California, it was Pat Patterson, Nick Bockwinkle, Pepper Gomez, and Ray "The Crippler" Stevens.

Ray Stevens was born in 1936, and started wrestling about 1954 or so. He was a traveler from the beginning, hitting the territories in Florida, up around Indiana, Missouri, and the NorthEast. He held various titles, but by the early 1960s, he settled in San Francisco, working for Roy Shires as his top heel.

Stevens wasn't a very big guy; instead, he was kinda short and firepluggy. He was also one of the best workers in the world, taking huge bumps and flying all over the place. He had huge charisma, could get a crowd totally into the act of hating him. He wrestled all out, and lived the same way.

"kinda short and firepluggy."

His most famous moment was dropping the "Bombs Away" knee drop to the throat of Pepper Gomez off a ladder in the early 1960s, which led a series of matches between the two that set long-standing attendance records. Unfortunately, Ray used to like to race go-carts and broke his ankle right when the Shires promotion was ready to go into overdrive on their feud. He was out for too long, and when he returned, the feud went on, but not at the level they could have drawn.

Stevens may be best remembered by some as one half of some classic tag teams. Ray and Pat Patterson are a legendary team that lasted, off-and-on, until 1983. They held the NWA and AWA tag team titles, and had runs in a bunch of territories. They were the Kings of San Francisco. Ray also teamed with Nick Bockwinkle. During the early 1970s, Nick and Ray were greats, holding the AWA tag titles at least twice and beating all manner of wrestler. They gave great interviews, where Bockwinkle, one of the all-time great high talking heels (think of Shane Douglas, only a touch more cerebral), would drop all these great, 50 cent words, and then Ray would come along and drag it down to the basement with his ruffian speak. It was a classic bit, especially since I believe that it was Ray Stevens who coined the classic quip: "Only two good things ever came outta England, and Elizabeth Taylor's got both of 'em."

Ray settled into singles wrestling towards the latter portion of his career. He worked in the WWF and had a huge feud with Jimmy "SuperFly" Snuka. He wrestled a while in Florida, but he always seemed to come back to the AWA to help out Nick or just to be a big star. His last run was in 1987 or so, though by that point, he really didn't mean much to wrestling.

I'd say that Ray Stevens is still among the best workers who ever lived. Not as flashy as today's guys like Benoit and Guerrero, he knew how to build a wrestling match to tell a story and pop a crowd. That sorta worker is dying out, being replaced by guys who can take sick bumps and get the crowd cheering by knocking themselves stupid. I think Ray Stevens would really respect those guys for being so reckless.

Ray Stevens passed away in 1996, a victim of a heart attack. He'd lived in Fremont, CA for the last decade of his life. He never wanted to do those Wrestler Reunion things, not wanting to be viewed as a has-been. The last six months or so, he started attending them, talking to people he hadn't heard from in years and setting his story down with wrestling historians. Unlike most of the wild guys in the business, Ray got to set things straight right before he died, leaving a strong record of his career through his own eyes.

That's another Falls Count Anywhere. Friday will feature more, including a look at Piledriver.

Chris Garcia