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Wrestling Today's Date:

Falls Count Anywhere

02-05-07

"They" might be some drunks
I met at karaoke.

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris and they asked me to write a script about the Profumo Affair…

SmackDown!
A fairly good episode that got some decent ratings, which is partly because the WWE is doing big business. There was a very solid match and I realized that Leyla has been replaced.

We opened with a match that really grabbed my attention. Anytime Fit Finlay and Chris Benoit lock-up, I’m all ears. This was a nice match that opened with a stare down between the guys. Then it was a slapfest! These guys are tough, especially Finlay. He worked over Benoit’s legs, which is a storyline that usually goes the other way, with Benoit working over the legs of a bigger guy. Benoit tried for a suplex but his legs buckled.

The Little Bastard came out, but was pulled back under the ring. We discovered that it was The Boogeyman that pulled him down. Benoit used a Schoolboy to get the win. The match was really good in telling the story, which wasn’t as flashy as a lot of matches between these guys, but it was built solid.

If only we had a key...

OK, I’m sayin’ it now: Cherry, the valet for Deuce and Domino, is the hottest woman in the WWE. Maybe it’s the roller skates. They made Heather Graham hotter in Boogie Nights.

The match between D&D and Paul London and Brian Kendrick wasn’t bad. There was a lot of action, and while Deuce and Domino aren’t really good workers, they took all of London’s moves well enough. Every time that they’d show Cherry on screen, I’d totally stare at her. She’s freakin’ hot. I think D&D won the match.

The funniest bit in a while was King Booker getting the key to Houston. Since it was in The Book’s hometown, he got a really good reaction, though it wasn’t 100% positive. He talked about all the other folks from Houston who never did wrestling. He even mentioned Patrick Swayze. You don’t talk about The Swayz lest you plan in invoke his wrath! He then pointed out Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top. My God, my beard is nearly as long as his! He told him to kiss his Royal feet, but Kane attacked. I really had a lot of fun with this segment.

They’re finally going to take my man Kennedy seriously. They put him up as filler to take on Batista and he ended up winning over the crowd. They had him work Vito over, rip off his dress, beat him over and over and then took him out with the SteamRoller. That’s how you rebuild a guy, and if they’re willing to do that for Kennedy, that means they believe!

We got The Miz. I took a break and made some oatmeal. I heard that Mercury did a run-in and allowed The Miz to win. I wish I didn’t know that.

The Main Event was the showdown. Batista came out to a good pop, which isn’t a good thing as it means that the WWE will probably keep pushing him. He talked about the Undertaker having the perfect recipe for winning at WrestleMania. John Cena ended up coming out and it went nuts. He’s getting a far more positive response nowadays, thanks to the Edge feud.

The two of them talked a bit, and Cena mentioned that he’s had a rough couple of days, mentioning that he and Michaels won the Tag Titles but Shawn nearly SuperKicked his head off. Michaels came out and it got good at that point and I’m loving the way they’re going towards Mania.

Vince McMahon came out and said that he didn’t care about what anyone wanted, he would tell them what they wanted and they’d love it. They announced that it’s Cena-Michaels vs. Undertaker-Batista. Should be an interesting match-up at No Way Out.

Decent episode, even with The Miz winning.

Wrestling Society X
The second episode was right in line with the first. Without the WSX Rumble (or whatever they called it) we just got regular matches and they were spectacular. That’s not to say they were masterpieces of psychology, selling and storytelling, but they were memorable and different from what you’d see elsewhere.

We started off with Luke Hawx taking on The Human Tornado. Tornado was lowered into the arena area by a scissorlift. That was a cool way to come in. Luke hit a captured T-Bone Suplex early, but Tornado wasn’t out. Luke did a headscissors take over over the ropes to the floor. It was a super dangerous–looking move. Tornado hit a running plancha con hilo to Luke on the outside and then when Luke was back in he gave him a Slingshot Swinging DDT for the pin. Tornado seemed to capture the attention of the crowd and that’s what matters. I think he’ll do fine. After the match, Koas and Aaron Aguilera came out to brawl with Luke. Alkatrazz came out too. Aaron was off somewhere as Koas got put through a table.

Hey, Teddy Hart and M-Dogg 20 Matt Cross are not The Filth & The Fury. Great name. They did a pretty good promo. Teddy is so ready to become what Jeff Hardy was in 1999 and 2000, but his head is even more messed up than Jeff Hardy in 2003.

We had the first look at two of the guys from Dragon Gate in Japan. Yossino and Horiguchi aren’t the first two that leap to mind as being the ones from DragonGate that I’d want to see, but they were OK enough. They took on That 70s Team, who were pretty entertaining. They had the ref hold up a disco ball as they pranced before the match started. It played really well in the warehouse.

The match started and Ryan Magnum blew up right after the first lock-up. He scurried over to the corner and Disco Machine handed him his inhaler. I get the feeling we’re gonna be treated to something out of the ABC TV version of It in the future. Yossino and Horiguchi were OK, they flew a bit, but they weren’t even as special as Jack Evans or Teddy Hart. There was some good comedy from these guys, but still. Ryan Magnum did manage to kick out of Yossino’s 360 Wrap-Around Bulldog Lariat and then hit The 70s Kick for the pin. I’m hoping we get DragonKid or someone of that caliber.

um...you can have the key back...

The first WSX champion was determined with a match between 6-Pac and Vampiro. It was a good match for what they’re trying to do with the federation. It opened with each guy doing a spin kick, but Vampiro hits a swank Sit-out PowerBomb on 6-Pac while he’s in midair. Just awesome. Vampiro unleashes the Yakuza Kick and a Chokeslam before hitting a twisting senton off of the top! He’s awesome! We’ve all known that, but usually he was too messed up in his attitude to show it all the way. 6-Pac comes back and hits a plancha onto Vamp on the floor. Then, after looking like he clocked himself pretty good on the plancha, 6-Pac hits a Tornado DDT off the Apron and through a table! That was just awesome.

Vampiro blocks an X-Factor and then give 6-Pac a Tombstone into an Exploding coffin! No way. That was awesome. You could hear that someone got counted out, but you didn’t know who until the smoke cleared. It was Vampiro and he was bleeding somethin’ fierce from the mouth. Just a great visual.

All in all, it’s what should make WSX a success. It had memorable stuff and at least one character who seems to have gotten himself over.

That’s all for Monday. More on Thursday!

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia

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