Falls
Count Anywhere
02-05-07
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"They"
might be some drunks
I met at karaoke.
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Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name
is Chris and they asked me to write a script about the Profumo
Affair…
SmackDown!
A fairly good episode that got some decent ratings, which
is partly because the WWE is doing big business. There was
a very solid match and I realized that Leyla has been replaced.
We opened
with a match that really grabbed my attention. Anytime Fit
Finlay and Chris Benoit lock-up, I’m all ears. This
was a nice match that opened with a stare down between the
guys. Then it was a slapfest! These guys are tough, especially
Finlay. He worked over Benoit’s legs, which is a storyline
that usually goes the other way, with Benoit working over
the legs of a bigger guy. Benoit tried for a suplex but
his legs buckled.
The
Little Bastard came out, but was pulled back under the ring.
We discovered that it was The Boogeyman that pulled him
down. Benoit used a Schoolboy to get the win. The match
was really good in telling the story, which wasn’t
as flashy as a lot of matches between these guys, but it
was built solid.
OK,
I’m sayin’ it now: Cherry, the valet for Deuce
and Domino, is the hottest woman in the WWE. Maybe it’s
the roller skates. They made Heather Graham hotter in Boogie
Nights.
The
match between D&D and Paul London and Brian Kendrick
wasn’t bad. There was a lot of action, and while Deuce
and Domino aren’t really good workers, they took all
of London’s moves well enough. Every time that they’d
show Cherry on screen, I’d totally stare at her. She’s
freakin’ hot. I think D&D won the match.
The
funniest bit in a while was King Booker getting the key
to Houston. Since it was in The Book’s hometown, he
got a really good reaction, though it wasn’t 100%
positive. He talked about all the other folks from Houston
who never did wrestling. He even mentioned Patrick Swayze.
You don’t talk about The Swayz lest you plan in invoke
his wrath! He then pointed out Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top.
My God, my beard is nearly as long as his! He told him to
kiss his Royal feet, but Kane attacked. I really had a lot
of fun with this segment.
They’re finally going to take my man
Kennedy seriously. They put him up as filler to take on
Batista and he ended up winning over the crowd. They had
him work Vito over, rip off his dress, beat him over and
over and then took him out with the SteamRoller. That’s
how you rebuild a guy, and if they’re willing to do
that for Kennedy, that means they believe!
We got The Miz. I took a break and made
some oatmeal. I heard that Mercury did a run-in and allowed
The Miz to win. I wish I didn’t know that.
The
Main Event was the showdown. Batista came out to a good
pop, which isn’t a good thing as it means that the
WWE will probably keep pushing him. He talked about the
Undertaker having the perfect recipe for winning at WrestleMania.
John Cena ended up coming out and it went nuts. He’s
getting a far more positive response nowadays, thanks to
the Edge feud.
The
two of them talked a bit, and Cena mentioned that he’s
had a rough couple of days, mentioning that he and Michaels
won the Tag Titles but Shawn nearly SuperKicked his head
off. Michaels came out and it got good at that point and
I’m loving the way they’re going towards Mania.
Vince
McMahon came out and said that he didn’t care about
what anyone wanted, he would tell them what they wanted
and they’d love it. They announced that it’s
Cena-Michaels vs. Undertaker-Batista. Should be an interesting
match-up at No Way Out.
Decent episode, even with The Miz winning.
Wrestling
Society X
The second episode was right in line with the first. Without
the WSX Rumble (or whatever they called it) we just got
regular matches and they were spectacular. That’s
not to say they were masterpieces of psychology, selling
and storytelling, but they were memorable and different
from what you’d see elsewhere.
We started off with Luke Hawx taking on
The Human Tornado. Tornado was lowered into the arena area
by a scissorlift. That was a cool way to come in. Luke hit
a captured T-Bone Suplex early, but Tornado wasn’t
out. Luke did a headscissors take over over the ropes to
the floor. It was a super dangerous–looking move.
Tornado hit a running plancha con hilo to Luke on the outside
and then when Luke was back in he gave him a Slingshot Swinging
DDT for the pin. Tornado seemed to capture the attention
of the crowd and that’s what matters. I think he’ll
do fine. After the match, Koas and Aaron Aguilera came out
to brawl with Luke. Alkatrazz came out too. Aaron was off
somewhere as Koas got put through a table.
Hey, Teddy Hart and M-Dogg 20 Matt Cross
are not The Filth & The Fury. Great name. They did a
pretty good promo. Teddy is so ready to become what Jeff
Hardy was in 1999 and 2000, but his head is even more messed
up than Jeff Hardy in 2003.
We had
the first look at two of the guys from Dragon Gate in Japan.
Yossino and Horiguchi aren’t the first two that leap
to mind as being the ones from DragonGate that I’d
want to see, but they were OK enough. They took on That
70s Team, who were pretty entertaining. They had the ref
hold up a disco ball as they pranced before the match started.
It played really well in the warehouse.
The
match started and Ryan Magnum blew up right after the first
lock-up. He scurried over to the corner and Disco Machine
handed him his inhaler. I get the feeling we’re gonna
be treated to something out of the ABC TV version of It
in the future. Yossino and Horiguchi were OK, they flew
a bit, but they weren’t even as special as Jack Evans
or Teddy Hart. There was some good comedy from these guys,
but still. Ryan Magnum did manage to kick out of Yossino’s
360 Wrap-Around Bulldog Lariat and then hit The 70s Kick
for the pin. I’m hoping we get DragonKid or someone
of that caliber.
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um...you
can have the key back...
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The
first WSX champion was determined with a match between 6-Pac
and Vampiro. It was a good match for what they’re
trying to do with the federation. It opened with each guy
doing a spin kick, but Vampiro hits a swank Sit-out PowerBomb
on 6-Pac while he’s in midair. Just awesome. Vampiro
unleashes the Yakuza Kick and a Chokeslam before hitting
a twisting senton off of the top! He’s awesome! We’ve
all known that, but usually he was too messed up in his
attitude to show it all the way. 6-Pac comes back and hits
a plancha onto Vamp on the floor. Then, after looking like
he clocked himself pretty good on the plancha, 6-Pac hits
a Tornado DDT off the Apron and through a table! That was
just awesome.
Vampiro
blocks an X-Factor and then give 6-Pac a Tombstone into
an Exploding coffin! No way. That was awesome. You could
hear that someone got counted out, but you didn’t
know who until the smoke cleared. It was Vampiro and he
was bleeding somethin’ fierce from the mouth. Just
a great visual.
All in all, it’s what should make
WSX a success. It had memorable stuff and at least one character
who seems to have gotten himself over.
That’s
all for Monday. More on Thursday!
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