Falls Count Anywhere

01-18-07

Lon told me.

RAW
After last week, I had no hopes for this edition of RAW, so I was slightly surprised that it was a decent episode. They did almost exactly what I thought they should do to make up for last week, though just almost.

They opened the show with a contract signing between Umaga and John Cena. It wasn’t a great segment, but it was OK. It’ll be a Last Man Standing Match at the Royal Rumble. I think that actually has some potential to be decent.

Jeff Hardy and Maria beat Johnny Nitro and Melina. That’s one of the things that the WWE needs to understand. Melina and Nitro are really the next big stars, and though they have been accused of having a bad attitude, they get strong reactions when they’re given the right conditions. Having them job here when this is the one time, as a pair, they should be given a win is just dumb. This was short and the only real highlight was Hardy hitting the Whisper in the Wind.

They had Vince calling Donald Trump and not being able to get through. This signaled to me that they were going the direction I mentioned last week.

Team RKO said that DX was dead and they dragged out Hacksaw Jim Duggan all beat up because they thought that he was going to team with Shawn Michaels. A preemptive strike. Perhaps they’ve learned a thing or two from US Foreign Policy.

Ric Flair and Kenny Dykstra had their little match and it was pretty good. Kenny’s a talent, but they’re going to have a hard time getting him up to the next level. The feud with Flair hasn’t been bad, but he hasn’t looked like a SuperStar waiting to happen. Flair chopped Kenny a lot and beat on him Old Skool!

Kenny got the advantage eventually and ended up putting Flair in the Figure Four. Flair managed to get to the ropes and then made a comeback. Flair went to the top rope and Kenny went to throw him off like everybody does when Flair goes to the top. This time he kicked him away and hit the Double Axe Handle. Sweet! Flair managed to get a roll-up on Kenny for the win.

They had Vince read a letter from Donald Trump that sounded like it could have been from any hardcore fan. It said that the Rosie-Donald match was lame and that they wanted Good In-Ring action. What they should have done was have Vince read a cease-and-desist because that would honestly sound like what Donald Trump would do. It’s a smart idea.

Vince then came out and said that the Rosie-Donald thing was brilliant and they showed footage. Vince said that Trump asks people what they like and gives it to them, while Vince tells people what they like and they love it. Wow! That’s either cheeky chutzpah or just plain egotism, but it was a good way to make the feud start out good. He mocked The Donald about the Miss USA thing and brought out Torrie Wilson dressed like Miss USA and then had her play the role, including asking what she could do for Vince to make it up to him for being a naughty girl.

Before Vince could name his terms, Carlito came out and said that Trump was right, the skit last week was brutal. He said that people wanted to see wrestling and not Vince talking, which got a great reaction, which was missing most of the time from this show. Vince then said that Carlito would be facing The Great Khali, who then came down and beat up Carlito. An interesting segment that half-way saved the skit from last week.

Blowin' it.

In a match that got zero crowd reaction, Mickie James beat Victoria. They’ve blown it with the best female heel in years by having her job to Mickie James. They even had Mickie kick out of that Spinning Sidewalk Slam thingee she does! That’s just not right. Mickie hit a heel kick for the win. She’s not very good in the ring, but she’s easy on the eyes and that’s why Mickie keeps the belt.

Chris Masters said that he was gonna win the Rumble and that he’s invincible because no one can break the Masterlock. Ron Simmons came out and Masters locked him in but let go when SuperCrazy attacked from behind. They said that Simmons had officially won the Masterlock Challenge, but upon further review, they reversed their decision.

JTG beat Shelton Benjamin. This was just wrong. Shelton should be higher up on the card working with the stars but they’ve got him stuck in this stage. True, bringing back TWGTT was a nice start, but not if he’s jobbing to ½ of Cryme Tyme. Just wrong. The match was barely watchable.

Michaels beat Orton and Edge. This is strange. They need to keep Orton and Edge strong and they keep having them job and job in big ways. Michaels was really good here, and there are few others who can pull off a match like this with as much clarity as Shawn did. I’m interested in seeing what happens next and when they give the big heel in the US the big win he needs. Shawn finished things using the sledgehammer and finally gave a conchairto to Orton. He was crazed, but it worked.

All in all, I thought the show was far better than last week, but there are still serious issues with the booking.

A great Mick Foley foil, too.

NEWS
The WWE continues to cut payroll in strange ways. Today they announced the release of ten wrestlers. The biggest name on the list is Al Snow. Snow's been an employee for nearly a decade and is highly thought of backstage.

He often worked with younger talent, especially on the old Tough Enough series, and did announcer duty at times as well. The other name wrestler released was David Heath, aka Gangrel. He was a star in the late 1990s, but hasn't been for a while.

Two tag teams got the axe, too. There was Gymini and The Bashems. Neither looked long for the fed. Tony Mamaluke rounds out the list. There's a lot of talk about the ECW roster thinning soon, but this ten man drop will likely be the big one for a while.

Sylvester Terkay was also cut, which is a shame. Maybe TNA will make him an offer and have the natural feud that's been waiting for him with Kurt Angle, the guy who beat him for the NCAA title. Rodney Mack and Jazz were both released as well, though they were released previously and are just now being made public.

ECW
I didn’t watch much, but I did see Kelly Kelly supposedly pop her top to allow CM Punk to beat Mike Knox. Here’s the deal: Punk is in the doghouse because he complained when they changed the way he was going to participate in the Elimination Chamber match at the ECW PPV. Dave Lagana wanted him to eliminate Big Show with the Anaconda Vise, which would have elevated him and given him a solid standing as a contender.

Vince didn’t like it, partly because Punk was seen as a Paul Heyman guy and that’s not what he wanted to be pushing. They’ve jobbed him clean to Hardcore Holly and now he needs a distraction to beat a nobody who’s not half the wrestler he is. It’s a freakin’ shame.

Still, Punk’s a big deal, is the guy that ECW can point to as having gotten over, and is likely to be in this nebulous role without much of a real push until he’s either fired or quits. It’s a shame. He and Shelton Benjamin should be having great matches on RAW instead of doing this stuff on ECW.

Other than that, I didn’t watch ECW. I’m sorry, I had too much to do!

That’s all for this week. I’ll be back on Monday with another edition!

Talk about today's column in the forums!

Chris Garcia