Falls Count Anywhere

01-16-04

Bucking for Fanboy Planet Hall of Fame...

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris, and you can take that to the bank…the blood bank!

SmackDown!
SD! this week wasn't a bad show at all, as I found myself entertained the whole way through, just seldom blown away.

Paul Heyman opened the show, which took place in the lovely Mohegan Sun Casino, by talking about how the winners of the matches would be in Rumble, and the losers would bust out. John Cena came out and said that he was sick of Heyman's voice and would kick his ass. He got him up for the FU, but Rhyno came out and gave Cena the gore. Pretty neat trick, Rhyno going from Vince's doghouse to main eventing in about a month. Cena again dropped the line of the night: "I don't need your approval, Paul, to take my respect. I'll bounce you quicker than a ECW check."

Jamie Noble and Tajiri had a match that I certainly enjoyed. Rey Mysterio was out at the commentary position. They did all the things I expected of them, with Akio doing some nice outside the ring distractions. To continue the heel turn that only a blind woman can't see, Jamie pulled Nidia in front of him to take Tajiri's dive to the outside of the ring. Noble then tossed Tajiri back in the ring and hit his Tiger Bomb for the pin.

The best way to end this Nidia storyline would be to have Noble in a big match for the Cruiserweight title and Nidia trips him up, reveals that she has had her sight for the last few weeks, decided to wait until she could really hurt Jamie, and she goes off with Rey. I like that one.

Heyman did a nice little promo talking about how John Cena's raps corrupt the youth of America. He then said that he had made Cena vs. Rhyno a Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap Match.

Big Show, in a neckbrace, talked about Bob Holly injuring him and how he had cops with him to ensure that Holly respected the 50 Feet Restraining Order. Brock Lesnar stayed with Show as a way of ducking Holly, too. I thought that was a nice touch.

Eddy and Kurt had a great little vignette where Eddy told Kurt to stay out of his business. This is likely leading to Kurt turning heel again, which is OK, so long as they keep him heel for a while. The good thing: they made Chavo vs. Eddy for the Rumble. The bad thing: neither of them will be in the Rumble itself.

When we run pictures like this, Garcia gets all warm and tingly.

Dawn Marie is smokin' hot!!! She came out when Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty thought they were getting a Tag Title shot to let the…HOLY CRAP SHE LOOKED HOT!!! Anyhow, she informed them that they would be wrestling each other to see who gets to be in the Rumble. Rikishi won the match pretty easily.

More plugging the house shows with John Cena again proving that he can connect with fans even outside of his character.

The World's Greatest Tag Team (second in Wrestling Observer Newsletter Tag Team of the Year voting) took on the Bashems in a non-title match with the winners going to the Rumble. This wasn't a bad match at all. I like the crispness that TWGTT bring to their matches, and the Bashems are very good brawlers. Danny Bashem had Haas ready for a powerbomb when Shelton Benjamin nailed him with a Superkick that allowed Haas to get the pin. I think they may turn TWGTT if they keep getting half-and-half reactions like this.

Chavo Guerrero Sr., the man who was the best known of the Guerreros before Eddy broke through, came out and did a little promo saying that he was ashamed of what Chavo did. Eddy came out and said that Chavito should be the one apologizing, which led to Chavo Sr. calling out his son. Chavo Sr. attacked Eddy from behind and the two of them beat down Eddy for a while. This was a nice touch, as Chavo Sr. is a legend and bringing in further members of la familia is a good way to build heat. They should bring in all the Guerreros the next time they are in Texas.

The FBI were in the ring when Dawn Marie came out again, this time looking even more scorching than before, and said that there can be only one…FBI member in the Royal Rumble. She announced that it would be a mini-Rumble. Nunzio tried to convince the other two to eliminate themselves, but they refused. I really like Nunzio and I think he did his part in this match very nicely. Nunzio won.

Eddy went to Kurt's locker room and said that he was glad that Angle was interfering in his life, since now he wanted to kick Chavo's ass. Eddy was great here. He really plays the role of the man pushed over the edge so very well.

Funaki, SmackDown!'s #1 Reporter, took on Big Show in a qualifier match. Brock hung at ringside, which drew Hardcore Holly to the top of the ramp, hoping that Brock would chase, but alas, no. The match was better than I thought it would turn out, as Funaki worked hard and Big Show had his injured neck to sell.

Rhyno and Cena had a very good match as the Main Event. Heyman came out and announced that it would be under ECW Rules, which meant they would be using tables. They did all sorts of fun little spots, with Rhyno using a kendo stick, and basically methodically working Cena over. At one point, Cena had Rhyno up for the FU, but Heyman gave him a low blow. Rhyno did the classic Rhyno ECW ending. He set up a table Tupelo-style in the corner and then went to gore Cena through it, but Cena moved and Rhyno went crashing through it headfirst.

Scene from Smackdown... or Fanboy Planet staff meeting?

After the match, Paul E. went running up the ramp, but Benoit headed him off at the pass and brought him back to the ring. Heyman managed to hit Benoit with the kendo stick, but it did nothing to the Rabid Wolverine and Benoit put Heyman in the Sharpshooter. Cena then proceded to make Heyman lick the soap. When he tried to get Paul to open up, he wouldn't, so Cena would say "Chris," and Benoit would cinch down and Heyman would scream and get a mouthful of soap. IT was a fun little way to end the show. Heyman said at the end that Cena had picked the wrong guy to mess with and that he would regret it.

I liked this episode, as it was far better than RAW, and they moved all the stories they needed to build. I am still wondering what the reaction will be to the Holly vs. Brock match. It will have to be a hell of a match to get a strong reaction, but if any two guys can do a physical match that the crowd will love, it's Brock and Holly.

News
Brian Kendrick, aka Spanky, gave his notice before the SmackDown! taping. I think that's a shame, as he is a highly talented guy. It's been reported that he's looking at Japan and US Indies as his next logical stops. I don't think he'd risk WWE wrath by going to TNA, but he would fit in so well there.

Steve Austin may be the next Sam Adams. There is thought about having a Stone Cold Steve Austin brand of beer. That would be awesome, though still a tad less awesome than Billy Beer.

There is a lot of tension among undercard wrestlers about possibly being let go. Supposedly, Jim Ross has been given the right to eliminate any salary that he thinks isn't producing money for the company. This has put a lot of guys on edge, in particular Spanky before he took matters into his own hands, and Tommy Dreamer. Others that should be worried include Orlando Jordan, Ivory (though she is well-suited to working with the other women of the WWE), Paul London, Rhyno, and even Ultimo Dragon, who has wanted out for a while anyhow. These things happen from time to time, but with only one company, firings are a much bigger deal now.

The Armageddon PPV buy-rate seems to be somewhere around .40, which is about the level the In Your House Two-Hour PPVs were doing back in 1996. The brand split was a really bad idea and the company is on a long road to recovery, but they still have a bit to go before they hit bottom. I would say they should reorganize, go back to the one Champion for both shows concept, but HHH will never allow it to happen. The Rumble number will be more interesting, since it's a combo show and traditionally the number 2 or 3 show for the year.

Lots of talk around Hollywood about The Rock. The Rundown did only average business, even though it was a success with the critics, and with its budget somewhere around 100 mil, it lost a good deal of money. The Rock was the hot guy around town for a while, but now folks are starting to cool on him. There hasn't been any further talk on Namor, and Johnny Bravo seems to have cooled as well. If Walking Tall doesn't make money (and with a much smaller budget it should be easier), The Rock may not be getting big budget roles after the ones he's already signed for. He is still scheduled for Be Cool (the Get Shorty sequel), part-animated feature Instant Karma and Spy Hunter. That takes him through the Fall, and there are still several things that he is being considered for, but the performance of Walking Tall is going to decide a lot of his acting future.

Johnny Fairplay, better known as that liar guy from Survivor, has signed with NWA-TNA. It's an interesting signing, but not a terribly good one. They are hoping that it'll turn into an attention getter, but I kinda think not.

Dave Meltzer, Kingmaker

Observer Awards
Well, every year, Dave Meltzer's Wrestling Observer Newsletter gives out the most prestigious awards in wrestling. While a small percentage of the total wrestling fanbase reads the Observer, they are far and away the most important segment. It's estimated that 50% of the wrestling industry worldwide read the Observer, while far less than 1% of the fandom does. Along with the Tokyo Sports awards, the Observer Awards are the only real awards given out, voted on by subscribers to the newsletter.

This year, Wrestler of the Year, (the Lou Thesz / Ric Flair Award) went to Pro Wrestling NOAH's Kenta Kobashi, who also won the award back in 1996. He was NOAH's champ for most of the year and had one of the most dramatic matches of the last five years with Mitsuharu Misawa in March. That match also won Match of the Year, which was no surprise at all, and also took the Christopher J. Garcia Match of the Year. NOAH, Japan's most impressive non-Shootfighting fed, won Weekly TV Program of the Year.

Kurt Angle came in second for Wrestler of the Year, which he won last year, and also won Most Outstanding Wrestler, and Observer Reader's Favorite Wrestler, both of which he had taken home last year. He also had the Feud of the Year with Brock Lesnar. Brock won Most Improved for the second year in a row and Best Brawler. Brock took fourth in Wrestler of the Year.

Other important winners include Rey Mysterio as Best Flying Wrestler, another repeat from last year. He certainly had competition this year from the Japanese wrestlers and from TNA workers. He won his first flying wrestler of the year in 1994, and no one else has managed to stay in the hunt for the Best Flying Wrestler for so long. Chris Jericho won Best on Interviews, which is a great reward for having his best year yet on the mic. HHH won the Double Double of dubious honors by winning both Readers' Least Favorite Wrestler and Most Overrated Wrestler. He repeated on both of those from last year. Chris Benoit won Best Technical Wrestler for the fourth time in his Hall of Fame Career. John Cena won Best Gimmick and Rico won worst gimmick.

Some guys ya'll might not care about who won included Marafuji and KENTA from Pro Wrestling NOAH winning Tag Team of the Year, and Bob Sapp winning Best Box Office Draw and Most Charismatic, which was no surprise as he has been bringing in money for various feds all over Japan. AJ Styles Style Clash won Best Wrestling Maneuver.

My favorite result was not a winner at all. In the Best Booker category, Jim Cornette won for the third time, but my good friend Dave Lagana got 15 votes in the category. Vince McMahon got 14. My personal vote for the category, Dirty Dutch Mantel who is currently booking Puerto Rico, came in fourth.

The big theme this year was that guys who overcame big challenges got the awards. Kobashi has had tons of knee surgeries and missed the better part of the last couple of years due to them. The fact that he performed at this level after all the troubles he's been through is amazing. Kurt Angle had a tough year, with serious neck problems, but he still put on great matches every time out of the gate. The Brock vs. Angle feud is the stuff of legend since both men have been so seriously banged up and they still went out and gave us a bunch of great matches. They were all well rewarded.

Ready for the Hall of Fame?

I'm surprised that Kurt Angle did as well as he did. I think he's fantastic, easily the best thing in American wrestling, but he didn't hold the title much this year, he was injured a fair amount, and he did his best stuff at the beginning of the year. I voted for him in several categories, but I really didn't think he'd win any of them. Brock doing as well as he did wasn't too surprising, as he held the belt for much of the year and had some great matches (the Benoit and Mysterio matches weren't eligible for these awards which only cover up through Dec. 1st, 2003). I had a serious debate between Cena and Brock for Most Improved. Cena came in second, and he certainly improved all facets of his game, but Brock really went from being a rookie on the big stage with a huge push to being a guy who worked hard and had established himself as a worthy champion. He certainly deserves Best Brawler, though I seldom think of him as a brawler since he has such a wide-ranging style.

Chris Benoit winning Best Technical is great. He deserves more attention, and once they do the push to get him onto RAW, I think we'll see him move to the very top.

This year also brings up a couple of very important things for thinking of upcoming Hall of Fame voting. HHH will be up in the vote that takes place over this summer. His last couple of years will probably hurt him. Kurt Angle will be up. This year, with him winning two awards even after all the injuries, I think he has a good chance.

Previously, I thought that it was too soon to say that he is HoF material, but it's clear that the fans have said that they think of him as one. Fact: every Wrestling Observer Wrestler of the Year winner is in the Hall of Fame, including Kenta Kobashi who was installed in 2002. I think Angle has a shot to be a first ballot guy. I sure hope so, because he's the guy I'll remember in 50 or 60 years as the best wrestler of this era.

Rey Misterio/Mysterio is coming up in the next couple of years, I think in 2005 or 2006, and the span of his career as a top flyer for a decade would make him an easy choice in my eyes.

That's another Falls Count Anywhere. Next Week will feature another Rumble memory and a look at Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk.

Chris Garcia