Falls
Count Anywhere
01-16-04
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Bucking for Fanboy Planet
Hall of Fame...
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Welcome
to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris, and you can take
that to the bank…the blood bank!
SmackDown!
SD! this week wasn't a bad show at all, as I found myself
entertained the whole way through, just seldom blown away.
Paul Heyman
opened the show, which took place in the lovely Mohegan Sun
Casino, by talking about how the winners of the matches would
be in Rumble, and the losers would bust out. John Cena came
out and said that he was sick of Heyman's voice and would
kick his ass. He got him up for the FU, but Rhyno came out
and gave Cena the gore. Pretty neat trick, Rhyno going from
Vince's doghouse to main eventing in about a month. Cena again
dropped the line of the night: "I don't need your approval,
Paul, to take my respect. I'll bounce you quicker than a ECW
check."
Jamie
Noble and Tajiri had a match that I certainly enjoyed. Rey
Mysterio was out at the commentary position. They did all
the things I expected of them, with Akio doing some nice outside
the ring distractions. To continue the heel turn that only
a blind woman can't see, Jamie pulled Nidia in front of him
to take Tajiri's dive to the outside of the ring. Noble then
tossed Tajiri back in the ring and hit his Tiger Bomb for
the pin.
The best
way to end this Nidia storyline would be to have Noble in
a big match for the Cruiserweight title and Nidia trips him
up, reveals that she has had her sight for the last few weeks,
decided to wait until she could really hurt Jamie, and she
goes off with Rey. I like that one.
Heyman
did a nice little promo talking about how John Cena's raps
corrupt the youth of America. He then said that he had made
Cena vs. Rhyno a Wash Your Mouth Out With Soap Match.
Big Show,
in a neckbrace, talked about Bob Holly injuring him and how
he had cops with him to ensure that Holly respected the 50
Feet Restraining Order. Brock Lesnar stayed with Show as a
way of ducking Holly, too. I thought that was a nice touch.
Eddy and
Kurt had a great little vignette where Eddy told Kurt to stay
out of his business. This is likely leading to Kurt turning
heel again, which is OK, so long as they keep him heel for
a while. The good thing: they made Chavo vs. Eddy for the
Rumble. The bad thing: neither of them will be in the Rumble
itself.
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When we run pictures
like this,
Garcia gets all warm and tingly.
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Dawn Marie
is smokin' hot!!! She came out when Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty
thought they were getting a Tag Title shot to let the…HOLY
CRAP SHE LOOKED HOT!!! Anyhow, she informed them that they
would be wrestling each other to see who gets to be in the
Rumble. Rikishi won the match pretty easily.
More plugging
the house shows with John Cena again proving that he can connect
with fans even outside of his character.
The World's
Greatest Tag Team (second in Wrestling Observer Newsletter
Tag Team of the Year voting) took on the Bashems in a non-title
match with the winners going to the Rumble. This wasn't a
bad match at all. I like the crispness that TWGTT bring to
their matches, and the Bashems are very good brawlers. Danny
Bashem had Haas ready for a powerbomb when Shelton Benjamin
nailed him with a Superkick that allowed Haas to get the pin.
I think they may turn TWGTT if they keep getting half-and-half
reactions like this.
Chavo
Guerrero Sr., the man who was the best known of the Guerreros
before Eddy broke through, came out and did a little promo
saying that he was ashamed of what Chavo did. Eddy came out
and said that Chavito should be the one apologizing, which
led to Chavo Sr. calling out his son. Chavo Sr. attacked Eddy
from behind and the two of them beat down Eddy for a while.
This was a nice touch, as Chavo Sr. is a legend and bringing
in further members of la familia is a good way to build heat.
They should bring in all the Guerreros the next time they
are in Texas.
The FBI
were in the ring when Dawn Marie came out again, this time
looking even more scorching than before, and said that there
can be only one…FBI member in the Royal Rumble. She announced
that it would be a mini-Rumble. Nunzio tried to convince the
other two to eliminate themselves, but they refused. I really
like Nunzio and I think he did his part in this match very
nicely. Nunzio won.
Eddy went
to Kurt's locker room and said that he was glad that Angle
was interfering in his life, since now he wanted to kick Chavo's
ass. Eddy was great here. He really plays the role of the
man pushed over the edge so very well.
Funaki,
SmackDown!'s #1 Reporter, took on Big Show in a qualifier
match. Brock hung at ringside, which drew Hardcore Holly to
the top of the ramp, hoping that Brock would chase, but alas,
no. The match was better than I thought it would turn out,
as Funaki worked hard and Big Show had his injured neck to
sell.
Rhyno
and Cena had a very good match as the Main Event. Heyman came
out and announced that it would be under ECW Rules, which
meant they would be using tables. They did all sorts of fun
little spots, with Rhyno using a kendo stick, and basically
methodically working Cena over. At one point, Cena had Rhyno
up for the FU, but Heyman gave him a low blow. Rhyno did the
classic Rhyno ECW ending. He set up a table Tupelo-style in
the corner and then went to gore Cena through it, but Cena
moved and Rhyno went crashing through it headfirst.
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Scene from Smackdown...
or Fanboy Planet staff meeting?
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After
the match, Paul E. went running up the ramp, but Benoit headed
him off at the pass and brought him back to the ring. Heyman
managed to hit Benoit with the kendo stick, but it did nothing
to the Rabid Wolverine and Benoit put Heyman in the Sharpshooter.
Cena then proceded to make Heyman lick the soap. When he tried
to get Paul to open up, he wouldn't, so Cena would say "Chris,"
and Benoit would cinch down and Heyman would scream and get
a mouthful of soap. IT was a fun little way to end the show.
Heyman said at the end that Cena had picked the wrong guy
to mess with and that he would regret it.
I liked
this episode, as it was far better than RAW, and they moved
all the stories they needed to build. I am still wondering
what the reaction will be to the Holly vs. Brock match. It
will have to be a hell of a match to get a strong reaction,
but if any two guys can do a physical match that the crowd
will love, it's Brock and Holly.
News
Brian Kendrick, aka Spanky, gave his notice before the SmackDown!
taping. I think that's a shame, as he is a highly talented
guy. It's been reported that he's looking at Japan and US
Indies as his next logical stops. I don't think he'd risk
WWE wrath by going to TNA, but he would fit in so well there.
Steve
Austin may be the next Sam Adams. There is thought about having
a Stone Cold Steve Austin brand of beer. That would be awesome,
though still a tad less awesome than Billy Beer.
There
is a lot of tension among undercard wrestlers about possibly
being let go. Supposedly, Jim Ross has been given the right
to eliminate any salary that he thinks isn't producing money
for the company. This has put a lot of guys on edge, in particular
Spanky before he took matters into his own hands, and Tommy
Dreamer. Others that should be worried include Orlando Jordan,
Ivory (though she is well-suited to working with the other
women of the WWE), Paul London, Rhyno, and even Ultimo Dragon,
who has wanted out for a while anyhow. These things happen
from time to time, but with only one company, firings are
a much bigger deal now.
The Armageddon
PPV buy-rate seems to be somewhere around .40, which is about
the level the In Your House Two-Hour PPVs were doing back
in 1996. The brand split was a really bad idea and the company
is on a long road to recovery, but they still have a bit to
go before they hit bottom. I would say they should reorganize,
go back to the one Champion for both shows concept, but HHH
will never allow it to happen. The Rumble number will be more
interesting, since it's a combo show and traditionally the
number 2 or 3 show for the year.
Lots of
talk around Hollywood about The Rock. The
Rundown did only average business, even though it
was a success with the critics, and with its budget somewhere
around 100 mil, it lost a good deal of money. The Rock was
the hot guy around town for a while, but now folks are starting
to cool on him. There hasn't been any further talk on Namor,
and Johnny Bravo seems to have cooled as well. If Walking
Tall doesn't make money (and with a much smaller budget
it should be easier), The Rock may not be getting big budget
roles after the ones he's already signed for. He is still
scheduled for Be Cool (the Get Shorty sequel), part-animated
feature Instant Karma and Spy Hunter. That takes
him through the Fall, and there are still several things that
he is being considered for, but the performance of Walking
Tall is going to decide a lot of his acting future.
Johnny
Fairplay, better known as that liar guy from Survivor, has
signed with NWA-TNA. It's an interesting signing, but not
a terribly good one. They are hoping that it'll turn into
an attention getter, but I kinda think not.
Observer
Awards
Well, every year, Dave Meltzer's Wrestling Observer Newsletter
gives out the most prestigious awards in wrestling. While
a small percentage of the total wrestling fanbase reads the
Observer, they are far and away the most important segment.
It's estimated that 50% of the wrestling industry worldwide
read the Observer, while far less than 1% of the fandom does.
Along with the Tokyo Sports awards, the Observer Awards are
the only real awards given out, voted on by subscribers to
the newsletter.
This year,
Wrestler of the Year, (the Lou Thesz / Ric Flair Award) went
to Pro Wrestling NOAH's Kenta Kobashi, who also won the award
back in 1996. He was NOAH's champ for most of the year and
had one of the most dramatic matches of the last five years
with Mitsuharu Misawa in March. That match also won Match
of the Year, which was no surprise at all, and also took the
Christopher J. Garcia Match of the Year. NOAH, Japan's most
impressive non-Shootfighting fed, won Weekly TV Program of
the Year.
Kurt Angle
came in second for Wrestler of the Year, which he won last
year, and also won Most Outstanding Wrestler, and Observer
Reader's Favorite Wrestler, both of which he had taken home
last year. He also had the Feud of the Year with Brock Lesnar.
Brock won Most Improved for the second year in a row and Best
Brawler. Brock took fourth in Wrestler of the Year.
Other
important winners include Rey Mysterio as Best Flying Wrestler,
another repeat from last year. He certainly had competition
this year from the Japanese wrestlers and from TNA workers.
He won his first flying wrestler of the year in 1994, and
no one else has managed to stay in the hunt for the Best Flying
Wrestler for so long. Chris Jericho won Best on Interviews,
which is a great reward for having his best year yet on the
mic. HHH won the Double Double of dubious honors by winning
both Readers' Least Favorite Wrestler and Most Overrated Wrestler.
He repeated on both of those from last year. Chris Benoit
won Best Technical Wrestler for the fourth time in his Hall
of Fame Career. John Cena won Best Gimmick and Rico won worst
gimmick.
Some guys
ya'll might not care about who won included Marafuji and KENTA
from Pro Wrestling NOAH winning Tag Team of the Year, and
Bob Sapp winning Best Box Office Draw and Most Charismatic,
which was no surprise as he has been bringing in money for
various feds all over Japan. AJ Styles Style Clash won Best
Wrestling Maneuver.
My favorite
result was not a winner at all. In the Best Booker category,
Jim Cornette won for the third time, but my good friend Dave
Lagana got 15 votes in the category. Vince McMahon got 14.
My personal vote for the category, Dirty Dutch Mantel who
is currently booking Puerto Rico, came in fourth.
The big
theme this year was that guys who overcame big challenges
got the awards. Kobashi has had tons of knee surgeries and
missed the better part of the last couple of years due to
them. The fact that he performed at this level after all the
troubles he's been through is amazing. Kurt Angle had a tough
year, with serious neck problems, but he still put on great
matches every time out of the gate. The Brock vs. Angle feud
is the stuff of legend since both men have been so seriously
banged up and they still went out and gave us a bunch of great
matches. They were all well rewarded.
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Ready for the Hall of
Fame?
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I'm surprised
that Kurt Angle did as well as he did. I think he's fantastic,
easily the best thing in American wrestling, but he didn't
hold the title much this year, he was injured a fair amount,
and he did his best stuff at the beginning of the year. I
voted for him in several categories, but I really didn't think
he'd win any of them. Brock doing as well as he did wasn't
too surprising, as he held the belt for much of the year and
had some great matches (the Benoit and Mysterio matches weren't
eligible for these awards which only cover up through Dec.
1st, 2003). I had a serious debate between Cena and Brock
for Most Improved. Cena came in second, and he certainly improved
all facets of his game, but Brock really went from being a
rookie on the big stage with a huge push to being a guy who
worked hard and had established himself as a worthy champion.
He certainly deserves Best Brawler, though I seldom think
of him as a brawler since he has such a wide-ranging style.
Chris
Benoit winning Best Technical is great. He deserves more attention,
and once they do the push to get him onto RAW, I think we'll
see him move to the very top.
This year
also brings up a couple of very important things for thinking
of upcoming Hall of Fame voting. HHH will be up in the vote
that takes place over this summer. His last couple of years
will probably hurt him. Kurt Angle will be up. This year,
with him winning two awards even after all the injuries, I
think he has a good chance.
Previously,
I thought that it was too soon to say that he is HoF material,
but it's clear that the fans have said that they think of
him as one. Fact: every Wrestling Observer Wrestler of the
Year winner is in the Hall of Fame, including Kenta Kobashi
who was installed in 2002. I think Angle has a shot to be
a first ballot guy. I sure hope so, because he's the guy I'll
remember in 50 or 60 years as the best wrestler of this era.
Rey Misterio/Mysterio
is coming up in the next couple of years, I think in 2005
or 2006, and the span of his career as a top flyer for a decade
would make him an easy choice in my eyes.
That's
another Falls Count Anywhere. Next Week will feature another
Rumble memory and a look at Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk.
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