Falls Count Anywhere

01-08-07

Here's to the memory of my gerbil...

SmackDown!
It didn’t get watched because I was making some preparations for a funeral. I know, I know, but I did manage to watch a bit of the Superstars of the 1980s DVD set around 2 in the morning and I’ll have a review on that in a couple of weeks. So far, it’s pretty good.

New Year’s Revolution
This show’ll be remembered for the HHH injury, but I actually thought that it was a decent show overall.

Jeff Hardy and Johnny Nitro are very similar. Nitro is where Jeff was back about 1999, though he had his minor self-destruction and has steadily improved his attitude and work. Jeff deteriorated for a while but has been making big strides at getting back into real ring shape again.

The steel cage match between the two was really good, exactly the type of match you’d expect from two masters of the high spot. I love the Wheelbarrow into the Facebuster that Nitro does. Jeff Hardy did a Russian Legsweep off the top rope! That’s just nuts. Melina manages to interfere a little by using her belt from the outside and that let Nitro hit the Missile Dropkick. A Nitro Flying Body Press gets turned into a slam and Hardy who then hits the Swanton. There was a nice spot where Hardy tried for a Twist of Fate but Nitro was in the ropes. It all ended when Hardy dropkicked the door right into Nitro’s crotch and then Hardy dove out to get the win. Good stuff. I’m hoping that Nitro gets a fair shake after this feud.

They gave us another Tag Team Turmoil, which is simply a gauntlet match. They opened with The Highlanders and The World’s Greatest Tag Team. This wasn’t a terrible match, though it felt very much thrown together. The World’s Greatest Tag Team have matching outfits again! That means they intend to keep them together for a while, which is a plus. They mostly dominated the Highlanders, but eventually Rory and Robbie got some offense in before Shelton managed to run up the ropes, rake the eyes and hit a Superplex for the pin, leading them to Hacksaw Jim Duggan and SuperCrazy.

I like the pose.

I hear you say “What?” They were just thrown together and they put ‘em on the match. This was the weakest match as Haas got a fast cheapshot on Duggan and then managed to tag Crazy who very quickly hit a few spots (wheelbarrow into a Snap Mare, a Standing Moonsault and a Dropkick) but ended up pinned with a Haas German Suplex.

That led us to TWGTT vs. The Texas Rangers. This was slightly longer and a decent little matchlet. Shelton did the Ricky Morton face in peril thing even though he’s technically a heel. Murdoch and Cade aren’t a half-bad team, they’ve just been badly booked (and Cade’s gotten himself in trouble once in a while). Haas tagged in and cleaned house, including hitting an Exploder on Cade and a Missile Dropkick on Murdoch. He put Murdoch in the Lasso From El Paso, but Cade hit him with an elbow off the top and that led to The Texas Rangers getting the pin. Not what I’d have liked to have happened, but it was good for what it was.

The long section was the finish with The Texas Rangers vs. Cryme Tyme. This was a longer match than we’ve usually seen out of Cryme Tyme and it wasn’t exactly pretty, but it was good enough that I didn’t think it ruined the entire event. Crowd seemed like they could care less, though. That awesome Samoan Drop/Flip Neckbreaker won it for Cryme Tyme. I’d say overall this wasn’t much of anything, but the individual parts that The World’s Greatest Tag Team was a part of were good.

Kenny Dykstra beat Ric Flair. That should tell you what I thought of this match. If it looked like Flair was ever gonna get a chance to get a win over the heel punk, I’d be OK with it, but it’s obvious that they’re just gonna keep jobbing him and not letting him have his in-ring interviews.

In one of the saddest events in a while, Mickie James pinned Victoria. They ruined what had been a great gimmick and they didn’t even let Victoria destroy James after the match, which would have at least let her keep some of her heat. She had asked Melina to come with her and that would keep her from the list. Mickie’s awesome, but she’s not great in the ring. Best line of commentary the entire night was Jim Ross calling Mickie a “Sexy Little Frisbee” when Victoria tossed her by her hair.

Yet some of us are okay with the victory...

Victoria rolled out of the ring when Mickie hit the Mickiecanrana, and Melina came out, but Mickie knocked her down. The other divas came out to rid the ring of Melina and that allowed Mickie to get a roll-up which wasn’t clean. She then hit an uncomfortable looking Swinging DDT and that pinned Victoria. They better do something right with Vict on RAW.

Rated RKO vs. DX was the match where HHH tore his quad again. It’s a brawl to open and then it turns into a pretty typical match that I just felt wasn’t going to be terribly good. I’m afraid it was just another match and Shawn seemed a little out of it, even calling spots that were pretty damn audible.

HHH hit a Spinebuster and that’s where it happened. He managed to go through with the rest of the match, though he crumpled when he was supposed to take the RKO. Shawn hit the ref for the instant DQ, but there was a great segment after where Shawn gave Randy an elbow off the top through a table and H gave Edge the Pedigree on another table. It’s obvious that H is really hurt. Who know how long this will keep him out.

Carlito and Chris Masters had a really weak match. Carlito’s hair, really huge, was the best part of the match. Carlito did the Double Jump Springboard Moonsault, but that didn’t get it done. Masters is trying, like when he did a Half-nelson Suplex, but he’s just not very good. Carlito managed to slip out of the Masterlock, but Masters sat down and that was the match. Not good. Not good at all, and Carlito has real potential if they’d just get him in there with real workers.

Umaga and John Cena had a match that came straight out of Hulk Hogan’s playbook circa 1986. Cena was being pummeled 90% of the match and managed to get a win through a roll-up. Now true, Hogan would have gotten the slam and the legdrop, but everything else was straight out of the old school mentality. It wasn’t a great match, though back in 1986 it would have been amazing. We’ve just been trained to expect more from a Main Event.

Overall, I thought it was a decent show with a few missteps. I liked the Gauntlet and the Steel Cage match was really good too. The bad wasn’t terrible (expect for the Carlito-Masters match) and the booking on some stuff was awful and on others expected.

That’s all for today. More on Thursday!

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Chris Garcia