Falls Count Anywhere

01-04-05

Somebody has to fold the paper napkins.

SmackDown!
I watched SmackDown! last Thursday and I have to say that I didn’t pay too much attention. It wasn’t a bad show, in fact there were a couple of really good things, but I had a lot of work to do for New Years.

This was a concept show, much like Monday’s RAW. The concept was that all the champions got to choose their own title matches and defend the belts against whoever they wanted to. John Cena came out and did a bit of a rap and was then challenged by Rene Dupree. They had a match that was pretty good. As hated as Dupree is in the locker room, he’s a talented guy. Cena got the win.

They did an on-going thing with John Bradshaw Layfield. He and Amy Weber were walking in the back and ran into Joy Giovanni. Joy and Amy traded barbs and Big Show came out and frightened JBL away. Later, he held a drawing and picked Shannon Moore. JBL destroyed Moore in the match. Teddy Long came and revealed that the only name in the fishbowl was Shannon Moore’s.

JBL blamed it all on Orlando Jordan, who took the brunt of the blame. Theodore then announced that JBL would be defending against Kurt Angle, who came out and cut a fine promo, and then Teddy added The Big Show to the match. Earlier in the segment, Joy and Amy acted out the fondest dreams of many by engaging in a little bit of a catfight before they both headed to the back. This was good.

Nice beard.

Funaki and Spike Dudley had a nice little Cruiserweight match that entertained me. Spike has his fun offense, and Funaki works a style that’s nothing like anyone else in the WWE. Spike also has an excellent beard. Funaki won with a Sunset Flip.

Heindenreich and Undertaker had a segment. Heidenreich was in the ring saying that he wasn’t afraid of the Undertaker. This led to Druids bringing a casket out to the ring and Undertaker coming out of it. Not a terrible segment, but when are they going to realize that Heidenreich isn’t going to be a star and turn him into a comedy heel like the old Oddities?

Rey Mysterio and RVD got to choose their opponents, and all the tag teams. This led to some interesting segments, including a great one between the Bashems and Booker and Eddie. The match finally went to Eddie and Booker and it was really, really good. Rey and Eddie were both at the top of their game, and Booker and RVD were clean and worked hard. Rey hit an awesome Tornado DDT. There was a really nice spot where Rey went to drop the dime, but Eddie pushed him off the top rope. Eddie did a tilt-a-whirl armdrag that I dug, too. The ending was Rey getting the pin on Eddie. Solid way to end a solid show.

NEWS
The Korean film based on the life of Rikidozan is the number one film in the country. It’s going to get a Japanese release at some point and I wouldn’t be surprised if it plays on the US festival circuit.

Sable and Brock Lesnar arrived in Japan, perhaps to be a part of the huge Tokyo Dome show for New Japan or maybe just to drum up some support for the possible contracts that Brock is being offered. The WWE is still playing hardball, but both K1 and Pride have made very good offers, though the no-compete clause he signed with the WWE may preclude him from appearing until after March or perhaps even as late as June.

RAW
RAW opened with Eric Bischoff coming out with the World Title and announced that the participants in the Elimination Chamber would face off in singles matches on the show. They opened with Benoit getting worked over by Big Dave Batista. The match wasn’t bad, but really, Benoit could be so much more effective if they gave him big wins once in a while. Batista did a Fisherman’s Buster off the Top which was awesome. Benoit got some suplexes in, which Batista always takes like a champ. The Soon-to-be-Turned one got the pin with his Demon Bomb. Good match.

HHH and Evolution had a backstage bit where they talked about Big Dave bringing HHH home the belt by doing the right thing. Batista wanted his hundred bucks from last week's bet. He’s got to get paid! HHH was about to pay him, but did the West Indian Archie face from Malcolm X when he pulled out the wad. Batista said he was only kidding. Strange but effective segment.

Maria interviewed Gene Snitsky. She does have impressive cleavage, I’ll give her that.

Edge beat Chris Jericho in a really good match. These two work together perfectly. The two were a good tag team and they have had several good matches. I’d say that only Edge and Randy Orton are better suited to work together. Edge worked the arm and Jericho hit a sweet Northern Lights Suplex and an enzuigiri. Edge ended up getting the pin after sitting down when Jericho tried a roll-up and Edge grabbed the ropes.

Shelton Benjamin beat Sylvan Grenier in a short match. Maven was out dropping his heel charisma all over the place. I really think that Shelton’s T-Bone is a great move. Maven challenged Shelton to an IC title match at New Year’s Revolution. I’m torn, as I’d like to see Shelton keep the belt, but Maven could use it to springboard his push.

The debate between JR/Jerry Lawler and Muhammad Hassan and his interpreter was the hottest interview segment on RAW in a long time. The crowd was booing Hassan and cheering Lawler and JR strongly. Muhammad made some very good points, and said that he hated most Arab-Americans because they don’t stand up against the obvious racism. Jerry Lawler cut a brilliant little promo saying that there were racists in every country and that Hassan and Daivari were a pair of jackasses. Daivari just about exploded when he started raving against the words of JR. Man, his delivery is so damn good. Hassan and Daivari then beat up JR and Lawler. They said that Lawler ended up sent to the hospital, though JR came back later. Hassan will take on Lawler at New Years Revolution.

Johnathan Coachman, playing a softened version of his heel character, handled play-by-play for Trish vs. Victoria. This was a short match and Trish, Woman of the Year ‘round these parts, won decisively. Lita came out and beat on Trish a bit until Snitsky came and that allowed Trish to hit the Chick kick on her. Kane returned and saved her.

She definitely has the "Mean Girls" look down. But how is she on a Freaky Friday?

Eugene and Christy did a segment where Eugene said Christy had red hair just like Lindsay Lohan. William Regal came and told Eugene that he had to get ready for his match. Christy offered to give Eugene some encouragement and they two of them left. Regal then picked up the Walkman and started singing and dancing to Lohan’s current single. Regal is a genius. Eugene unfortunately got beat by Christian, who had some sweet new ring duds. Eugene did the Ultimate Warrior Gorilla Press and the Steamboat Double Chicken Wing. Tyson Tomko helped Christian score the pin.

The Randy Orton vs. HHH main event was strong wrestling-storytelling. They had a really good match, they worked together to get over the storyline, they did a series of run-ins by the others in the Elimination Chamber, and they smartly used a ref bump, allowing Shawn Michaels to come in and take over. Edge was about to spear Shawn when Jericho charged and made the save. Orton did an awesome roll-up on HHH when he went running into the corner. The finish was brilliant, as HHH pushed Randy off when he tried for an RKO. Then HHH tried for a Pedigree, but Randy countered, hit the RKO and got the clean pin.

This was a great show that built nicely to the PPV. I can’t say enough about how good almost everything on this show was.

That’ll be all for today. Friday will see a FlashBack about the American Dream, Dusty Rhodes.

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Chris Garcia