Falls Count Anywhere

01-02-04

It's my anniversary. Did you bring me flowers?

Welcome to Falls Count Anywhere! My name is Chris, and when it's time for a change, think Speedy Oil Change and Tune-up. (Not a paid endorsement)

SmackDown!
I liked SmackDown! a lot. I thought that it dragged a couple of times, but it more than made up for it with some fun matches.

The opening match with Rey Mysterio and Tajiri was fantastic. It reminded me of Nitro back in the day when you'd have Rey and Dean Malenko wrestle in the first match to get the crowd into the wrestling.

It was also nice to see them bring Akio and Sakoda into the mix with interference that Rey was able to overcome. Mysterio took some incredible bumps, as usual, but he flew even higher than I can ever remember him going. They did a reversal into the corner segment that was what you seen a hundred times, only it felt much cleaner than any other time I can think of. The guys have been using the shoulder roll when it is supposed to look like a real finish on the face, and these two used it after a big Sit-out Powerbomb.

Opening with flair, but not Flair.

Giving the Cruiserweight Title to Rey was a smart move, as they built him up from that loss to Brock, and they also helped make the crowd in Galveston by doing a switch to a guy they obviously loved.

They did an interview with Rey after the win, which they should do more of, but Big Show interrupted to plug his new shirt. Show was funny when he started interacting with Rey, but really, I'm so tired of them programming big guys with little dudes. Rey got knocked around until Bob Holly made the save. Rey hit the 617, which Show sold really big. Paul Heyman then gave Big Show a match with Bob Holly later in the show.

Bradshaw took on Rhynno. This is a feud that should have ended long ago, but the match wasn't terrible, just not very good. Rhynno is in Vince's doghouse, so I don't expect him to get a new contract this year. Bradshaw has been trying of late and his Clothesline from Hell is still the stiffest in the business.

They plugged Eddy on the cover of Low Rider magazine. Eddy was in a Low Rider parade down in Texas, which was sweet. They need to keep doing things like that to get the names of the hot new guys out there. Eddy Guerrero is still my favorite wrestler.

They rereviewed the whole Christmas in Baghdad event, which they showed on RAW, but then they cut to the audience reacting with USA chants. A nice touch. Paul Heyman then did a direct to the camera promo saying how he was so proud to be a part of the event. Cena came out and busted him up with a little talk about Paul being a coward, and Paul made a match between the FBI and Cena and a partner of his choice for a chance to be in the Rumble. And since it was going on next, Cena had no time to get a partner.

Cena came out to the ring and his rap focused on the possible man humping that the FBI may or may not do. It was funny and a little filthy, which is always a plus. Chris Benoit came out and said he wanted in on the match and they took on the FBI in a match that was typical Benoit carrying everyone. I like the members of the FBI, don't get me wrong, but Benoit, and to a lesser degree Cena, pulled this match along by the nose. Cena and Benoit will be in the Rumble.

Kurt Angle came out and did a heartfelt, and way too long, promo about being in Iraq and coming back to win the Rumble for our troops. It was a good interview, very effective, but it was long and the crowd came and went out of it a couple of times. Nice to see Kurt back though.

Big Show vs. Bob Holly was an interesting match. Show worked on Holly's neck, since Holly had the fusion surgery that is so fashionable right now. Holly acted tough, as he is indeed tougher than shoe leather, and Rey interfered. Holly low-blowed Show, getting himself DQed, and then worked on him with a chair to make himself into an even bigger Tough Guy. The crowd seemed in Hardcore Holly, which happens some times, but not nearly enough to make him a main eventer at a top five PPV.

They did a preview of the return of Billy Gunn. Whatever they have planned for him will fail like everything else they've donce with him since the New Age Outlaws.

"Hmm...is it too late to call Chris Garcia?"

Heyman and Benoit do a face-off where Benoit says he'll win another shot at Brock Lesnar. They are building challengers to Brock's title the smart way, which is something they haven't done much on the RAW side. Dawn Marie was there, looking hot too, which makes this segment almost perfect.

Rey Mysterio celebrated his win with Funaki, Bradshaw, Eddy Guerrero and a couple of others. Eddy says that Rey's winning the belt has inspired him to make a bid for the Rumble. Chavo gets all uppity.

Los Guerreros and The Self-Proclaimed World's Greatest Tag Team had a really good match where everyone worked really hard. The story here was that Chavo didn't want to let Eddy in the take all the glory. As such, Chavito took a hell of a beating. Shelton Benjamin hit an amazing Exploder Suplex, which Tazz noted was also called a T-Bone Suplex. Hass hit an amazingly fast power slam too. Eddy eventually tagged himself in and cleaned house for a bit before Chavo gets the blind tag, does Eddy's bit before going for a Frog Splash off the Top that ends up with Haas raising his knees. Benjamin hits a sick looking Superkick and Haas rolls him up for the win. These guys should be having a series for the tag belts. They are the two best tag teams in the WWE.

After that, Chavo gets a mic and whines about Eddy getting all the chants and how it was his fault that they lost. Eddy tries to get the crowd to chant "Chavo" but they don't follow along. Chavo slaps Eddy, and just as it seems they are going to go at it finally, Angle runs in and reminds Eddy that they are family. IT makes sense when you consider the family-laced promo that Kurt did earlier, but they did a backstage segment after that just didn't work as a closing bit.

Still, this was a fun night for me.

News
Not too much. Brock is going to take another week to heal from his minor surgeries. Angle has said that he will be back full time, and with his determination, I wouldn't bet otherwise. Portland Wrestling is making a comeback, which is good to hear as Portland is a city that I may someday visit.

FlashBack!
January First, 1971. The start of the 1970s proper seemed to hold a lot of promise for wrestling. The sixties had been a down period following the huge success of the First Television Era. They were still drawing good crowds with tremendous heat, but it wasn't like the 1950s. They needed something big to ignite the Seventies, something that would set the world on fire. The NWA Champ was Dory Funk jr., who wouldn't be considered a terribly charismatic champ today, but was one of the greatest back then. They had another major star named Jack Brisco, who many thought would make an excellent NWA champ.

Dory Funk, Jr. What a man.

Sam Mushnick, the St. Louis promoter, had heard about a series of great matches between the two in Texas and Florida. He decided that it would be a good idea to bring them, the two biggest wrestling stars in that part of the country, together for a big New Years Day event. Now, Blassie and Mil Mascaras were bigger out West and in Japan, Inoki and Baba were bigger World-wide, and El Canek was about to explode, but this was likely the biggest possible match up that the NWA could have.

That day, they sold out the Kiel Auditorium and turned away almost four thousand fans. It was a huge event. Brisco and Funk were also two of the best workers in the world at that point, each of them with incredible stamina. Putting one over the other wouldn't keep things interesting for very long, so they did the smart thing: they wrestled a Sixty Minute Draw.

This wasn't an Ironman Match, this was an honest to goodness sixty minute draw. Most matches back then for the NWA title were two out of three falls, and I think they each took one fall. The heat was tremendous, and the crowd was crazy. Everything they did was gold, kinda like the Michaels-HHH match from Raw. It was obvious that this was an important event, but they probably didn't know how important.

Welcome to Brisco Country, Junior...

The match was so well-received by everyone that once it got around in the wrestling magazines, every NWA promoter wanted to bring the match to their territory. The two of them did more than a dozen sixty-minute time limit draws around the world, both before and after Funk lost the title to Brisco.

I have one of their matches from All Japan on tape, and it's hard to comprehend that these were considered classics. They are slower, more deliberate, and more deadly serious than any match you'll see today. They used a lot of submission moves, but they held them for longer than any move would be considered credible now. At one point, Funk had a leg scissors on Brisco for nearly ten minutes and the crowd loved it.

Things have changed, but this was one of the advantages of the old Territory system over the current MegaCorp style: you could have a feud going on in Florida or Texas, then bring it to St. Louis and make it into a huge deal that no one had seen before. True, the money was much smaller, but still, it had its advantages.

That's all for this week. Thanks for stickin' with me for a full year, and next week, more of the same and a look at Cactus Jack.

Chris Garcia