Comic-Con 2014
Tales from the Epic Registration Waiting Room
(Ric's Note: The opinions expressed in this article are not based on anything outside of observing the Comic-Con reservations website and my heart-felt reactions while experiencing it, and are devoid of any insider information. There may be errors in the assumptions based on these observations that I'll be happy to correct if contacted by Comic-Con or their representatives.)
Comic-Con is legendary.
It's the massive geek fest that brings us all to the woefully unprepared city of San Diego for a few days, which we'll basically spend competing with our tribe-mates for line position. Line position to get into movie preview halls, autograph sessions, exclusive toys, hot pretzels, and the bathroom. It is the geek Battle of Thermopylae, where we stand among our brethren and cry "We are Fanboys" right before we're repeatedly cut down on the sands.
OK, maybe not that dramatic, but close.
Weeks before the actual Comic-Con registration day, we were more than a little pleased to see an episode of The Big Bang Theory dedicated to the fanboy angst that surrounds San Diego Comic-Con registration. In case you missed it, here's a clip:
The Big Bang Theory!
So, legendary. And the average fanboy is no stranger to preparing for getting into exclusive areas like first night showings. We line up hours ahead of time, bringing our lawn furniture, tents, and even portable power supplies so we can set up video game systems. We basically try to out--geek each other as we wait for the inexplicably slow passage of time before the golden doors open.
And Comic-Con registration is no different. Just bigger.
Setting the Alarm Clock
We had all done the ritual. Months ago we signed up for Comic-Con identifying logins, so all our information was already on file. This login would be used to access registration for convention attendance and for the eventual hotel registration. Mail received a few days earlier said that the log-in page would go live at 7am on March 15th, and "the sale" would begin at 9am. It added that there would be no advantage to arriving at 7am, that at 9am the whole lot of us would be randomized into a virtual line and one-by-one allowed into the actual registration process. A computerized lottery.
So, amp'd up on various versions of caffeine we would log in our our computers and attack registration.
And We're Off!
At 9am sure enough, the browsers of fanboys and fangirls all over the world refreshed to see the following screen (click for larger view). 
OK,
that's a bit to absorb. Especially when you're holding your lucky Spock action figure in one hand and your credit card in the other ready to enter your vitals and get on with it. But basically all was as expected, with the odd assurance that as long as that set of "spinning" blue balls on the right was doing it's thing you were still connected to the site. But we'll get back to that.
The real interesting thing turned out to be the yellow band, which every two minutes or so, along with the promised automatic refresh, would update you in various and often weird ways. Over the course of the session, it went from HAL to GLaDOS bipolar mood swings that would reassure and terrorize the waiting victim. And so, we waited, with the yellow band keeping us company.
Please be patient while we line you up .... there are quite a few of you!
OK, not creepy at all. Can you hear the mooing sounds reminiscent of a stockyard? The gentle prodding into an orderly line as we march into... what is that building anyway?
The sorting process is almost complete! We thank you for your patience. once we begin moving people into their registration sessions you will be notified in this status update box.
A little nicer this time. More like Hogwarts' deciding which house we'll be in.
Everyone has secured a spot in the line and we will begin moving people into the registration sessions shortly. We sincerely appreciate your patience!
Well, good that you can tell we're being patient. And nice to know we have a spot in line. Where is that spot, you teasing cybernetic bully? Not telling me? Why, because I'd lose what's left of my patience?
We are letting people into their registration sessions slowly to ensure that the system is running efficiently. We will continue to update you here with any changes.
OK, we're good with that. Don't crash the server and everything. Or is there something more here. Is this just building anticipation as we know some people are getting in and it isn't us?
Although you can't see your place in line, rest assured that we are moving people in every 120 seconds. Please be sure not to refresh this page or open another tab/window of the waiting room!
Finally addressing that whole place in line thing. Because to do that would take, oh, let's be generous and say another ten lines of server side code. And what happens if we cross the streams... er... open another tab/window?
Buying for others? It's a good idea to verify that you have correct spelling of everyone's last name and Member ID before you begin!
Because it's not like we began 10 minutes ago!
Wait a minute. We could have bought for others as well? We could have gamed this system by teaming up with other friends who are similarly trying to attend and improved our odds of getting in? Why didn't we know this until now! You continue to torture us GLaDOS... er... Comic-Con!
If someone purchases a badge for you while you are waiting in line, you may still have an opportunity to purchase badges for three other eligible people should you also reach the front of the line.
So not only can you game this system, you've established rules and guidelines for doing this? Why weren't we told this, oh say the two hours we were waiting to get into the Epic Registration Waiting Room!
Remember, if you reach the front of the line you will have 15 minutes to complete your entire purchase.
Or your computer will self destruct. Sorry, just starting to read between the lines here.
Although it may be tempting, please do not use your back or refresh button during any portion of the waiting room and badge purchase process. Comic-Con cannot guarantee that the system will behave as expected if you use the back or refresh button.
Behave as expected? You mean it might stop this bizarre torture if we refresh? Damn, I don't have the courage to try.
Thank you for your patience. Customers are completing their badge purchases and you will be moved to your registration session when your turn is up.
Wait. Is that phrasing trying to tell me I've reached some milestone? I will be moved? My turn will come up. OK. Starting to feel a little better now.
The waiting room is moving customers to their registration session every 120 seconds. Your personal registration session will begin when you have reached the front of the line. Make sure to have your Member ID ready!
You betcha GLaDOS! It's already on my computer's paste clipboard and ready to go! Let's have at this!
Rest assured, the line is still moving and people are completing their purchases. We will update you when inventory is running low.
Wait... what? WHEN inventory is running low? You just got pretty damn sure of that. Sure am rested and assured about those other people completing their purchases though. Good for them, good for them.
Badges are being purchased and many have completed their registration session. Be sure to have your credit card information ready for payment!
OK, now the teasing isn't even being creative. Bring on the water-boarding.
We are sorry to keep you waiting. The servers are processing purchase requests as fast as possible and you will begin your session once you reach the front of the line.
And still no idea when that's going to be, right? Not really sure you're sorry at all.
Badge inventory is being monitored very closely. We will update you when a badge type is running low or sold out.
I have a bad feeling about this.
Thank you for your patience. Our goal is to make this process less frustrating for you. We won't always succeed, but we will continue to try.
And now you're trying to make me feel sorry for YOU?
Is your blue circle spinning? That graphic lets you know that your page is active and you will begin
your registration session once you reach the front of the line.
OK, now you've done it. That was a lie.
Here's the blue circle, the actual graphic from the page.
It's an animated GIF, with no connection to the server processes. Might as well be an animated cat.
Your blue circle is essentially a stalking horse to keep us complacent. That alien is carrying a cookbook!
OK, steady, deep breaths. Oh, look - another refresh!
The waiting room is moving customers to their registration session every 120 seconds. Your personal registration session will begin when you have reached the front of the line. Make sure to have your Member ID Ready!
Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line...
Did you know that there is a full slate of programming from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM on Sunday at Comic-Con? It's a great day to attend and walk the Exhibit Hall floor!
...but forget about getting into any of the actual preview halls because you'll be spending the first few hours of your day in line for badge pick-up.
Make sure your computer's power saving settings are off or adjust them if needed. We don't want your computer to power down or go to sleep while you're waiting!
The irony of this warning, right after most unattended PCs using battery saving defaults would have already slept or shut down is not lost on me. There's a disturbance in the force, like the wailing of thousands of fanboys failing to keep their systems from shutting down.
Thank you for your patience. Our goal is to make this process less frustrating for you. We won't always succeed, but we will continue to try!
You know what's frustrating? Repeated lame statements about how hard YOUR job is.
Preview Night inventory is running low and may be sold out before you begin your online registration session.
OK, stay calm. Preview Night is just the show floor, just the vendors who sell out of all their exclusives before the regular show even starts. I can live without Preview Night, I'll just buy all that stuff from the scummy scalpers who buy it all and sell it on eBay.
Preview Night and Saturday inventory is running low and may be sold out before you begin your online registration session.
Stay calm. Saturday is the most crowded day of the show. Too many people sleep in line Friday night for Hall H anyway so I never get into there on Saturday. I can go enjoy the rest of what San Diego has for me that day. Like maybe a trip to Tijuana.
Friday badge inventory is running low. It is possible that you may not be able to purchase a Friday badge. We thank you for your patience during this process.
Kill me now.
We're sorry, but the option to purchase Preview Night and Saturday has sold out. But don't worry, there are still other fabulous days of Comic-Con International to attend! Friday badge inventory is running low. It is possible that you may not purchase a Friday badge. We thank you for your patience during this process.
And so maybe we'll just go on Thursday. Thursday has the smallest crowds, actually has programming, and some exclusives may still be available on the floor. And we'll still have Tijuana.
We're sorry, but the option to purchase Preview Night, Friday and Saturday has sold out. But don't worry, there are still three other fabulous days of Comic-Con to attend!
Three? Are you talking about Anaheim?
We're sorry, but the option to purchase Preview Night, Friday and Saturday has sold out. But don't worry, there are still three other fabulous days of Comic-Con to attend! Did you know that there is a full slate of programming from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM on Sunday at Comic-Con? It's a great day to attend and walk the Exhibit Hall floor!
...still drunk from that trip to Tijuana.
We're sorry, but the option to purchase Preview Night, Friday and Saturday has sold out. But don't worry, there are still two other fabulous days of Comic-Con International to attend! The servers are processing purchase requests as fast as possible and you will begin your session once you reach the front of the line.
Well, at least you fixed your math.
We're sorry, but the option to purchase Preview Night, Friday and Saturday has sold out. But don't worry, there are still two other fabulous days of Comic-Con International to attend! Although you can't see your place in line, rest assured that we are moving people in every 120 seconds. Please be sure not to refresh this page or open another tab/window of the waiting room!
So tempted to open another tab/window right now just to see what would happen.
We apologize, but Preview Night, Friday and Saturday badges are sold out. Please select another badge type when you begin your registration session, or exit the waiting room to allow another registrant a chance to purchase a badge.
Are you implying I'm in the way of someone more sincerely wanting to attend Comic-Con? But then again, you are sounding hopeful about me being able to select another badge type when my session begins. Maybe I'm actually close to the front? So, Thursday, then two days in TJ, and back for Sunday?
We apologize, but Preview Night, Friday and Saturday badges are sold out. Please select another badge type when you begin your registration session, or exit the waiting room to allow another registrant a chance to purchase a badge. Thursday badges are running low.
For the love of God! Not Thursday too!
We apologize, but Preview Night, Friday and Saturday badges are sold out. Please select another badge type when you begin your registration session, or exit the waiting room to allow another registrant a chance to purchase a badge. Thursday badges are running low as well. Did you know that there is a full slate of programming from 10:00 AM to 5:00 PM on Sunday at Comic-Con? It's a great day to attend and walk the Exhibit Hall floor!
SUNDAY IS A LIE.
Sunday badges are running low. Be sure to have your credit card information ready for payment!
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to say that about Sunday! Forgive me!
Comic-Con International badges have sold out! We thank all of you for your patronage and support.
NO!
Sob.
Sigh.
Oh well, we still have Tijuana.
Oh and look, the ball is still spinning.
The opinions expressed in this article are not based on anything outside of observing the Comic-Con reservations web site and my heart-felt reactions, and are devoid of any insider information. There may be errors in the assumptions based on these observations that I'll be happy to correct if contacted by Comic-Con or their representatives.
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